Love

Dear you,

What is Love?

What is love for you?

What is love for the people you love?

When we talk about love, the first person that comes to mind is mostly a romantic partner. Well, love is not limited to that one relationship. 

I am sure you may have used the word “love” in a variety of contexts and relationships. Like, “I love my job”, "I love coffee”, “I love my father”, “I love my car”, "I love my pet", "I love to be desired", "I love God", "I love my guru", "I love my country", "I love Tom Cruise", I love my wife", "I love my self", I love to love"...  

Love is harmless, there is no pain. When you love another person or thing you feel an emotion, that is called love. 

Love is a complex and multifaceted emotion characterized by deep affection, attachment, and care for another person or entity. It transcends mere physical or material aspects, encompassing emotional, psychological, and sometimes spiritual dimensions.

Eros: This is romantic, passionate love, often characterized by intense feelings of attraction and desire. It's the type of love often associated with the early stages of a romantic relationship.

Philia: This refers to affectionate, platonic love, often found in deep friendships. It's characterized by mutual respect, shared experiences, and a deep understanding of each other.

Storge: This is familial love, the kind of affection that one feels towards family members or relatives. It's often considered to be a more mature, unconditional form of love.

Agape: This is selfless, unconditional love. It's often associated with altruism and is characterized by a concern for the well-being of others without expecting anything in return.

Pragma: This is enduring love, which develops over a long period of time and involves mutual understanding and compromise. It's often seen in long-standing relationships and marriages.

Ludus: This is playful, flirtatious love. It involves casual relationships and fun, but with no strings attached. It's often about the excitement and thrill of the romance.

Mania: This is obsessive love, which can be unhealthy. It's marked by a high level of dependency, jealousy, and possessive behavior.

Philautia: This is self-love, which can be healthy or unhealthy. Healthy self-love is about respecting and caring for oneself, while unhealthy self-love can be narcissistic and self-absorbed.

Love is often described as an emotion that drives connection and bonding, leading to a sense of fulfillment and happiness. It motivates kindness, empathy, and support, and is considered a fundamental aspect of the human experience, contributing to our emotional and psychological health.

People experience pain when their expectations are not met by the loved object and then curse “love”. 

To those, 

Love is not, possessing someone. 

Love is not, “it’s your job to keep me happy”. 

Love is not, “do as I say, do as I love”.

Love is not, “depending to others to feel complete”.

Love is not, "serve me" and "I serve you".

Love is not, "I will give you everything you want".

Love is not, "if I love, I must accept everything"..

Love is not, "walk all over me, for you there are no boundaries"

In the name of LOVE, stop demanding ;or stop over doing to serve your own selfish needs. And once you do, love will no longer be painful. What is painful is your intention to grow up and take responsibility for your own emotions. It’s your need to be accepted, nurtured, seen, loved, valued, or  desired. 

Yes, sure it makes “personal needs” easy- “you scratch my back, I scratch yours”. But not all of us can have that luxury. 

Love can be likened to a nurturing garden. In its truest form, it is a harmonious and painless coexistence of two souls, much like flowers blooming side by side. Each flower thrives, not because it demands more sunlight or water than the other, but because they both contribute to an environment that supports mutual growth. 

For example, consider a couple, Raj and Simran. Raj loves to paint and finds peace in their art, while Simran is passionate about music. In a selfless love, Raj attends Simran’s concerts, not out of obligation, but from a genuine desire to see Simran happy and thriving. Similarly, Simran sets up a quiet space at home for Raj to paint, understanding and respecting their need for creative solitude. In both these instances, neither is focused on what they personally gain. Instead, their actions are rooted in understanding and nurturing the other's happiness.

However, when pain enters this dynamic, it's often because of self-centered needs. Imagine if Raj felt neglected because Simran spent evenings practicing music. Or if Simran felt frustrated that Raj spent weekends painting instead of with them. This pain isn't a result of love; it's the outcome of focusing on personal needs and expectations over understanding and supporting their partner.

In summary, love becomes painless when we nurture it with empathy and selflessness, much like gardeners who tend to their plants, knowing that their growth contributes to the beauty of the entire garden.

Love means Co-existing in harmony, accepting the otherness or others. Rest is all "Self-Love".

“Pyar mein dard nahi, joh dard hai toh woh pyar hi nahi.” -Parita 

“Love is painless, & if you are experiencing pain, it’s not love” -Parita 

More on - Shades of love,

When considering types of love based on the other person involved, the distinctions are often made based on the nature of the relationship or the role the other person plays in one's life. Here are some common types:

Romantic Love: This type of love is directed towards a romantic partner. It's characterized by passion, intimacy, and a deep emotional connection. Romantic love is often the basis for forming long-term relationships and marriages.

Parental Love: This is the love a parent has for their child. It's typically unconditional, nurturing, and protective. Parental love plays a crucial role in the development and well-being of a child.

Filial Love: This is the love that a child has for their parents or guardians. It's often characterized by respect, care, and a sense of duty or responsibility.

Fraternal Love: This refers to the love between siblings. It can include elements of friendship, rivalry, and deep emotional bonds formed through shared family experiences.

Platonic Love: This is love between friends. It's based on mutual respect, affection, and a strong emotional connection, without romantic or sexual elements.

Self-Love: This is the love one has for oneself. It's about self-respect, self-care, and the nurturing of one's own emotional and physical well-being.

Companionate Love: Often found in long-term relationships where the initial passion has evolved into a stronger, deeper, and more stable love. This includes long-term romantic relationships, deep friendships, or life partners.

Altruistic Love: This is a selfless form of love extended to others, often strangers or those in need. It's characterized by a desire to help and care for others without expecting anything in return.

Mentor-Mentee Love: This type of love is between a mentor and their protégé, characterized by guidance, support, and a deep investment in the other's growth and success.

Unrequited Love: This is love that is not reciprocated. It involves deep feelings for someone who does not feel the same way.

Empty Love: This type of love is characterized by commitment without intimacy or passion. It's often found in relationships where the initial love and attraction have faded, but the partners remain together out of duty, convenience, or for external reasons, such as social or financial stability.

Infatuation: Infatuation is often mistaken for love. It's characterized by intense but short-lived passion and admiration. This type of love is usually more about the idea or concept of a person rather than their true self. It's often found in the early stages of a relationship and can either develop into a deeper form of love or fizzle out.

Each of these types of love reflects different relationships and roles that people have in our lives. The intensity, expression, and dynamics of these loves can vary greatly based on individual experiences and the nature of the relationship.

Do you feel loved?

Or do you feel pain?

Do you feel that emptiness within?

do you wonder after giving so much, why it pains?

Know the correct source of pain , and if you are clueless, book an appointment with the professional. Because, if it's pain- it's pathological-love, it's not love.

Take Charge! Feel love!

Love,

Parita